After a fitful night of getting to bed late, and waking too early for my liking, on three hours of sleep, I did believe I would be far more introspective than this. However, I only find that I have a massive headache and the lights seem far too bright to be decent.
I am already counting down the hours until I'm away from here, although it'll just be straight back to the house, perhaps a one hour nap, then back up and away at 'em, off to church.
It's strange how when you're young you long, you desire to stay up all night, as if there is a magical hour during which life's secrets will be revealed to you. But as you grow older, you find that you can barely stay awake without full hours of sleep, and the elusive time spent resting is what you chase whole-heartedly. It's such a good example of how life is generally unfair.
Life is unfair, because we always want the wrong things at the wrong time. When we're younger we want to grow up faster, when we're older we want time to slow down...When we're younger we have an untamed spirit and desire for adventure, but do not possess the means with which to sail forward on the ocean of life. As we get older, we possess the means but our spirits have almost been broken with the adult responsibilities and cares of the world, and the idea of impulsively dashing off to chase one's dreams seems almost laughable and far-fetched. And so...the unfairness of life continues.
Accepting that life is unfair, and that things are so often backwards from how they should ideally be is the best way to continue through life happily. Fighting it, trying to change the way life naturally is just tires you out, and makes you ultimately unhappy with the life that you do lead.
Do the smart thing my friend. Pursue your dreams while you're young.
Sunday, 27 January 2008
Thursday, 24 January 2008
Time Heals All Wounds?
No, no it does not.
I've given this much thought, and have come to the conclusion that this is what really happens.
Instead of time healing the wounds, time simply deadens the nerves, deadens the feeling. The wound is still there, but it's blanketed with an anesthesia called time.
We still carry around things people have sad, hurts that we have suffered too, but time makes those things matter less and less, until we reach a point in which they may have completely slipped from our minds.
But not completely. Never completely.
I've given this much thought, and have come to the conclusion that this is what really happens.
Instead of time healing the wounds, time simply deadens the nerves, deadens the feeling. The wound is still there, but it's blanketed with an anesthesia called time.
We still carry around things people have sad, hurts that we have suffered too, but time makes those things matter less and less, until we reach a point in which they may have completely slipped from our minds.
But not completely. Never completely.
Tuesday, 22 January 2008
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Odds Are
If you live your life to the fullest, try everything that gets thrown your way, talk with a smile on your face that infiltrates your voice, and fear not what you cannot understand, odds are at the end of your life, you won't have any regrets.
Far too often I see people approaching their death bed, who has discontent etched on their faces, as if all their regrets, words they did not say, things they did not do, has physically affected them. They seem to be unable to die in peace.
I have already decided to never say no to things I don't understand, to talk with a smile in my voice, and to try things I've never tried before.
Cheers.
Far too often I see people approaching their death bed, who has discontent etched on their faces, as if all their regrets, words they did not say, things they did not do, has physically affected them. They seem to be unable to die in peace.
I have already decided to never say no to things I don't understand, to talk with a smile in my voice, and to try things I've never tried before.
Cheers.
Monday, 7 January 2008
It's A Hard Thing We Do
We'll spend our entire lives trying to be the best in at least one area of our lives.
It's almost as though we need to be good at something to prove our self-worth.
Sometimes it's about proving our worth just to ourselves, sometimes it's about proving our worth to other people...
What it comes down inevitably to is this...the likelihood of being number one in anything we do is extremely low. There will always be people will break our records, who will achieve higher and greater things, who will take over where we ended.
It leaves me with the conclusion that we shouldn't strive to be the best, but to do the best. We shouldn't build who we are around our performances or standing in life, but rather over personal goals, and just doing all that we can, being able to exit at the end of the day with the assurance that we have given 100%.
It strikes me that people would be happier if their self-worth wasn't so tied up in how they do things, but rather in the fact that they have done things, that they have already achieved goals and heights, and that life may not necessarily make them the greatest of all people, but who exactly is the greatest of all humans?
I apologize for the rambling, but these thoughts have been hanging around for a while, perhaps because this is what I do to myself. I try to be perfect at something, see other people doing better, and feel as though I have tumbled into a hole of imperfection and unhappiness.
Right now, sitting here, smelling the fresh almost warm air, seeing the natural light coming through the window, and being assured that winter is not forever, there is hope all around.
It's almost as though we need to be good at something to prove our self-worth.
Sometimes it's about proving our worth just to ourselves, sometimes it's about proving our worth to other people...
What it comes down inevitably to is this...the likelihood of being number one in anything we do is extremely low. There will always be people will break our records, who will achieve higher and greater things, who will take over where we ended.
It leaves me with the conclusion that we shouldn't strive to be the best, but to do the best. We shouldn't build who we are around our performances or standing in life, but rather over personal goals, and just doing all that we can, being able to exit at the end of the day with the assurance that we have given 100%.
It strikes me that people would be happier if their self-worth wasn't so tied up in how they do things, but rather in the fact that they have done things, that they have already achieved goals and heights, and that life may not necessarily make them the greatest of all people, but who exactly is the greatest of all humans?
I apologize for the rambling, but these thoughts have been hanging around for a while, perhaps because this is what I do to myself. I try to be perfect at something, see other people doing better, and feel as though I have tumbled into a hole of imperfection and unhappiness.
Right now, sitting here, smelling the fresh almost warm air, seeing the natural light coming through the window, and being assured that winter is not forever, there is hope all around.
Friday, 4 January 2008
About A Sibling
I have this younger sister, who is the most vain person in this house.
But perhaps I use the word "vain" incorrectly here. She is neither vain, nor narcissistic, because she does not think she looks amazing or beautiful. Rather...she has an obsession with how her clothes look on her, to the degree that if you make the smallest slight about her outfit, she will disappear to her and reemerge with an entirely different set of clothes on.
She climbs up onto the edge of the bathtub to get a good look at herself in the bathroom mirror. Is she is minutely dissatisfied about what she sees, she returns to her room, changes, returns back to the bathroom, climbs back up onto the edge of the tub, and takes another look-see. This performance was repeated at least three times today, if not more.
The thing is...no one else in this house (excepting Josh who is never around anyway) has such an obsession with how they look. She is an enigma to the rest of us girls who share the apartment with her. When I dare to comment on her somewhat unhealthy obsession about how she looks, she becomes defensive and attacks my use of makeup.
I can see how her friends may have effected her negatively. I like them, they are all nice girls, but their looks are so important to them. They trivialize other areas in their lives to make their appearances one of their number one priorities. They can't attend social functions without spending at least an hour preparing first. A casual relaxed feel? No such thing, my friends. It's all about look the best.
There is nothing wrong with taking pride in how you look. I see people who swing to the other side and need to take more care in their looks. But when you can't step outside your house without triple-checking your appearance in a mirror and anxiously asking people if you look okay, I think your life and mindset needs to be prioritized a little better...
But perhaps I use the word "vain" incorrectly here. She is neither vain, nor narcissistic, because she does not think she looks amazing or beautiful. Rather...she has an obsession with how her clothes look on her, to the degree that if you make the smallest slight about her outfit, she will disappear to her and reemerge with an entirely different set of clothes on.
She climbs up onto the edge of the bathtub to get a good look at herself in the bathroom mirror. Is she is minutely dissatisfied about what she sees, she returns to her room, changes, returns back to the bathroom, climbs back up onto the edge of the tub, and takes another look-see. This performance was repeated at least three times today, if not more.
The thing is...no one else in this house (excepting Josh who is never around anyway) has such an obsession with how they look. She is an enigma to the rest of us girls who share the apartment with her. When I dare to comment on her somewhat unhealthy obsession about how she looks, she becomes defensive and attacks my use of makeup.
I can see how her friends may have effected her negatively. I like them, they are all nice girls, but their looks are so important to them. They trivialize other areas in their lives to make their appearances one of their number one priorities. They can't attend social functions without spending at least an hour preparing first. A casual relaxed feel? No such thing, my friends. It's all about look the best.
There is nothing wrong with taking pride in how you look. I see people who swing to the other side and need to take more care in their looks. But when you can't step outside your house without triple-checking your appearance in a mirror and anxiously asking people if you look okay, I think your life and mindset needs to be prioritized a little better...
Thursday, 3 January 2008
Intro To Leaving
It is a hard thing for parents to see their children grow up, change, become adults.
It is hard for them to see their children form different mindsets, have different opinions, be different people.
But the number one most important thing for a parent to do, and I am convinced wholeheartedly of this, is to embrace their children and love them unconditionally. Yeah, they will make mistakes, yeah things will get rough, but to show love through it all is more powerful and moving than anything you can do.
That being said, I am more and more sure of this...independence is something that cannot be avoided, and should be done as gracefully as possible. Leaving on good terms is important, and being able to look back and not feel any guilt or dissatisfaction is key.
It's all very vague and generally sounding, but that's all for now.
It is hard for them to see their children form different mindsets, have different opinions, be different people.
But the number one most important thing for a parent to do, and I am convinced wholeheartedly of this, is to embrace their children and love them unconditionally. Yeah, they will make mistakes, yeah things will get rough, but to show love through it all is more powerful and moving than anything you can do.
That being said, I am more and more sure of this...independence is something that cannot be avoided, and should be done as gracefully as possible. Leaving on good terms is important, and being able to look back and not feel any guilt or dissatisfaction is key.
It's all very vague and generally sounding, but that's all for now.
Wednesday, 2 January 2008
Getting Out
There comes a time in everyone's life when they take wing.
It's just a necessary occurrence.
The question is...
Can it be done with dignity and respect between both parties?
It's just a necessary occurrence.
The question is...
Can it be done with dignity and respect between both parties?
Tuesday, 1 January 2008
The New Year
It is now 2008, and I am proud that I made it past 12:00 to ring in the New Year.
I have discovered this lyric from "Saviour King" by Hillsong.
"Hope which was lost, now stands renewed..."
And that is my thought for 2008. Our hope, which can so quickly be stamped out by cares of this world, stands renewed from the sacrifice paid for us.
And for some reason Good Charlotte's I Don't Wanna Be In Love keeps echoing through my head.
"Everybody throw up your hands, say 'I don't wanna be in love'..."
That just speaks of the hearts of many people. People don't want to fall in love, they don't want to be vulnerable, they don't want to expose themselves emotionally to people. The song shouts volumes, pertaining to the pop culture, the youth culture of this day. Life is casual and uncomplicated, and unattached.
I have discovered this lyric from "Saviour King" by Hillsong.
"Hope which was lost, now stands renewed..."
And that is my thought for 2008. Our hope, which can so quickly be stamped out by cares of this world, stands renewed from the sacrifice paid for us.
And for some reason Good Charlotte's I Don't Wanna Be In Love keeps echoing through my head.
"Everybody throw up your hands, say 'I don't wanna be in love'..."
That just speaks of the hearts of many people. People don't want to fall in love, they don't want to be vulnerable, they don't want to expose themselves emotionally to people. The song shouts volumes, pertaining to the pop culture, the youth culture of this day. Life is casual and uncomplicated, and unattached.
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