Thanksgiving.

It was supposed to be a time for thanksgiving, a time to ruminate on all the things that we have and to be grateful for them.
Instead, I barely thought of anything that I have, and sat bored through a meal.

I definitely wasn't grateful or thankful.

Thankfulness really is a state of mind that affects your entire life.

I might need to work on that.

AwakeAwakeAwake

I haven't slept more than five hours straight since Thursday.

For whatever reason, I lay on my bed for hours, waiting for sleep to come, feeling too keyed up, my mind busily scrambling around. It's as though I can find no peace or rest. I end up shoving my iPod in my ears and listening to some soothing music that helps me fall asleep. Just as I start drifting off, I pull the headphones out and try to sleep.

I'm afraid that I'll choke myself to death with the headphones, or not hear my alarm clock over the dulcet tones of Ray LaMontagne, Dido, David Gray, Damien Rice, Michael Buble, and other such gentle crooners.

At any rate, the moment I pull those headphones out, and I can feel myself starting to wake up and get tense again. Andddd stick them back in and turn up "Hushabye Mountain"...I love you Dick Van Dyke.

I am very very seriously considering a white noise machine. I'm sure I look ragged, and I need to sleep!!!
But each night, the exhaustion disappears and I'll be awake until two or three in the morning, either laying on my bed staring at the ceiling, or sitting in front of my computer listening music and trying to tire myself out.

Ah the dilemmas.

It Doesn't Remember and Oops Here We Go Again

My body doesn't remember the physical exercise I have inflicted on it these past three to four months.

After a week of zero jogging and zero walking, I started another jogging attempt on Wednesday night.
It's as though my cardiopulmonary system had never experienced a jog before.
I gasped through the last twenty minutes of it, feeling very uncomfortable.

And as I jogged those first few minutes, it felt as though I had never jogged before in my life. I felt as though I was doing something I had never experienced before.

It would appear it only take a week to undo months of physical activity.
I'm really going to try and avoid this problem. Three times a week will be my minimum physical work out.

But even though it was very difficult to sustain the long period of jogging, I enjoyed my run through the puddles of water that rain had left all over the tarmac where I was running. The cool spraying somehow almost authenticated what I was doing.

Getting comfortable with the stride is very hard for me to do. I find myself constantly disappointed with how little of a difference this whole jogging thing is doing.

And shin splints, on top of everything. Each step down feels like a bit of agony. It stops after the jogging ends, but greatly impedes me while I'm jogging.

Enough about all that.


People are generally very boring.
I'm discovering this more and more, especially as I interact with different types of people.
They aren't witty, can't think of interesting conversations, talk only about themselves, don't seem to have any interest in learning new things or being educated mid-discussion.
Yes, people are boring.

They lack this curiosity that comes so naturally to men and makes us so interesting.
They accept everything at face value and hardly seem to think about the daily occurrences of life around us.

Boring, boring, boring.

Nothing Interesting Here.

I'm typing this kneeling on an office chair. It appears to be the most comfortable posture at this very moment.

How has life been...

Strange. Almost unrecognizable to some extent.
I've been working afternoon shifts so I go to bed at three in the morning and wake up at noon.
I miss out on the general hubbub and bustle of the day, which I most surprisingly find myself missing.
Extraordinary.

Saturday night I went out for the first time in ages. I found myself bored by the people around me. I suppose that I myself am boring to many people, and although I comment on how unfriendly some people may seem, I am sure that I come across as cold and estranged in many situations.

At any rate, it was not very enjoyable, sadly.
Perhaps I need to exercise that social muscle more routinely.
The funny--aka tragic almost--thing is that I used to be the most sociable and friendly person in my family. I was always out with friends and doing all kinds of crazy business with random people. I found social situations easy to maneuver and enjoyed being on the town several nights a week.

Now I lack the stamina or interest to keep up socially with other people. I like being around others who can discuss-with some education-politics, religious topics, philosophy, the growing economic concerns, and other such mature things.

That sounds very pretentious. But it's not. I just enjoy discussing those things very much.
I had a long and great chat with a doctor last week about the social and economic reform that is very much needed in Canada. You leave those types of conversations feeling that you have been educated by the person you were interacting with, and happy that you have learned something new, even though it may be depressing news.

That's all.
Sorry about this very boring post.