Thursday, 4 August 2011
what is love?
I expect and hope the person I'm with to think about how his actions make me feel and to consider thoughtfully before embarking on whatever he chooses to do. However, that works my way as well. I should probably stop saying "we need to break up" and start saying "how can we work through this?". I should consider the fact that when I get upset or cry, it makes him feel bad...it causes him to feel inadequate.
There are so many aspects when it comes to love, it's overwhelming, but I think I'll settled with those three definitions today.
Give and take.
Considering each other.
I'm going to continue contemplating what love means to me and hopefully I will be able to see how I can change and get my emotional responses under control.
To lighten up this entry...
My parents stopped by my apartment last night with a couple of my siblings. They sat with my around the dining room table and we discussed the family reunion we are planning this Saturday. At one point Sue started yelling and defending Josh (who wasn't even there, wtf) and that's how my family is... Loud, annoying, opinionated, dysfunctional, smothering, emotional, and moody. It was nice to have people there to talk to, even though we may not get along or things may be strained. I forgot in that moment about my problems. I stopped obsessing as we tried to trouble shoot the issue of rides. And then I realized when they left that I need to stop being selfish and stop worrying.
I woke up this morning around 5 and Licorice was pacing around the bedroom, watching Mr. Cat and I sleeping together on the bed. I called his name and he jumped effortlessly up on the bed and curled up on the other side of me. He doesn't just lay beside me...he snuggles up, puts his nose against me and smells me contentedly, rests his head right against my body as if needing the physical comfort. Sandwiched between the two animals that love me so unconditonally, I felt so peaceful and happy.
So fuck it, I'm posting more animal pictures because I love them both.