I have a friend who has lived a rough life. (What you and I consider "rough" are probably different things.) Her life consists of drinking heavily, having sex with strangers, drug use, living life "fully" which to me means living life dangerously and recklessly.
You put yourself out there, you get hurt. I'm not saying to lock your heart away and never truly experience the joys of life, but I recommend a good dosage of pragmatism with each whimsical choice.
Take her situation now: she's been with her boyfriend for three years or so. When she first started dating him, he honestly told her that he had been to rehab for substance abuse (cocaine) and that he currently smoked marijuana. Okay whatever, weed is far cry from coke and she didn't think in that moment that they would become a serious relationship.
Three years later, after fighting and loving, arguing and laughing, she finds out that he has been doing coke again, fallen back into the habit, and who knows for how long? The trust is completely broken and he refuses to discuss A) why he started it again and B) how long he has been doing it.
Outside the relationship I firmly state my views and what I believe my choices would be. I would be unable to survive fully and happily in a relationship where I felt I couldn't trust the person I was with. How are you supposed to be one with another person when they refuse to communicate and have broken the bridge between you two?
I told her very straight up that she can't trust him any more and the relationship is pretty much over. She kept saying, "I don't know what I'm going to do", but today, only a couple days later, she has decided to give it ANOTHER chance (even though he has lied to her before about other drugs) and take it slowly, see how things pan out.
Is it a huge mistake? It seems like she is feeding BS to herself, trying to convince herself that her relationship will become whole again, persuading herself to trust him and that everything will be okay. It's a frustrating situation for me to sit through because I feel so strongly about her leaving him, but I also am trying to be an understanding and kind friend.
I don't know. Bunches of BS, indeed.
But on a better note:
we adopted another cat (kitten actually), 4 mths old and as cute as button
and I have lots of books to read which makes me soo happy, another reason I love summer:
20. summer reading list
21. greenhouses in parking lots
Summer is still coming along:)