Thursday, 1 May 2008


There is a chasm of difference between my coworkers and myself.

Every single one of them is married or in a long-term relationshion, and has at least one child.
They will all at the drop of a hat describe their excruciating pregnancy and the joys of motherhood.
They discuss cooking, cleaning house, spending time with lovers and children, and carry on in the most Stepford manner.

I struggle to understand them, what makes their world spin around, and how to carry a conversation with them.
Not only that, I believe they don't how to reach me. So their answer to the worlds of difference is to just ignore me for the most part, only speak to me as much as work requires, and leave me to my own devices.
They are not bad people, nor malicious or cruel. They simply can't relate to me.

It suits me fine, to be left to work at my own pace, to find my way through a work shift, and to meander along.
But at times, I feel so lonely, and feel as though I will never deeply connect with any of these people.

The hardest thing about this all, is the way I compare it to my old job, where in a staff of maximum twenty people, I got along with every single person, knew each of them outside of work, could carry on conversations for entire shifts, and happily built work relationships. We knew so much about each other and had the best moments together.

And now, in a far more professional workplace, surrounded by many more people...watched at all times...I often feel lonely.

For the most part I try not to compare the jobs, because they are of two completely opposite existences, but at times I remember the good times had by all, and miss those days.

I love my job, but there are cons to it, as per anything.

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