I've never experienced this before, but I can imagine the tragedy of it. Loving someone so much and having them slip away from you. Not taken away, not seperated by death...nope, just a relationship gone sour.
So you're close to someone...you know everything about them. You spend hours with them, loving all of them and all that they have to offer. While you love them and dream about them, you are so close and intimate, you know when there has been a shift in your relationship.
Then at one point, you wake up and realise that you are no longer close to them. You have moved away from them, they have moved away from you.
The real tragedy of it is that we can genuinely love someone but not know how to reach them and how to get them to open it. Relationships are reparable, but both people have to want to change and to make things better.
I don't know...the people that you love the most also hurt you the most, so what is the point of even starting something that will at some point in time break your heart? Is it really worth? Is the joy that accompanies relationships worth the heartache and sadness?
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Mika, my friend in Japan, refuses to have best friends anymore because they all leave her. Although I agree that heartbreak is sad and that relationships which sour are disappointing and discouraging, there is a part of me that always reaches out to find people. Of course, I am selfish and want it in my own time and space - but I do like having people around in the background as it were.
For me there is great sadness in repudiation. I remember this one Hong Kong girl I made friends with in Kindergarten and she refused to acknowledge me when I met her again (after Jordan). It was sad for me and I realized that so often I am not on the same page as everyone else.
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