Monday, 19 March 2012

realities of relationships

Relationships are challenging, which is what every single person will say to you.  As a single being, you roll your eyes internally and think, 'yeah, yeah', being so sure that you will
A) be the best significant other that exists in this world and

B) normal ups and downs that relationships struggle through will not apply to you

It's such an egotistical and ridiculous view point, especially because people who refute the statement that relationships are difficult are often people who have never been in a serious long term relationships.

On that note, I often feel as though my relationship with M has just started, especially in the past few weeks.  With that statement, I elaborate:

Obviously those who go about saying "relationships are hard" know what they're talking about--usually because they are in a relationship and understand that it has highs and lows.  I suppose, in a way, I have been waiting for our relationship to truly start, in the fact that I have suspected we would have rough times and when they began, our true strength would be tested.

When I sit still and think about it, it's not even that M is a bad boyfriend.  He's a great boyfriend.  The best, even.  I guess it's that I find myself bored with the same thing every day, I feel restless and in need of change, I lack interest in our relationship.  He says or does things that bother me, but recently I've found that instead of worrying or bothering to talk about it until it's resolved, I just let it go because I just don't care anymore.  I'm exhausted with always being the person who pushes and pushes to make things settle and make things right.

Apathy is a dangerous thing.  I want to believe that this is just temporary and I will move on to being happy and interested, in love so to speak.  But a part of me leans toward the negative and feels that this is the reality of relationships and we are just brushing the tip of it...that we are just beginning our journey of fighting to understand and appreciate each other.

Can I close with something cheerier?

Spring is most definitely here.

A tower of delicious fries

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