Empty - Ray Lamontagne

I'm a bit, no a lot, in love with this song. Even though I've been listening to it for months now, we still have a romance.

You know how some songs evoke such powerful memories for oneself? That's exactly what this song does for me. I can lay on my bed listening to it and remember staring up through the roof of my tent, the stars undimmed by city lights. I remember the beach with the water washing up against the sand, a constant and peaceful rushing. I think of running at twilight, the city temporarily at peace with itself, the catastrophes and noises of the day fading during that almost magical moment between day and night.

I found a different fan mixed version that I like a bit better...substitutes violin synths over the harmonica.

I uploaded it to my Rapidshare account...you can snatch it here.

Much love.

++ As Promised ++

My current favourite song... Be Mine by David Gray.
Watch it, listen to it, and love it.


Today I smelled the wondrous smell of thawing.
I was driving my car with the windows rolled down, breeze flowing through the car, and these faint odor came in to the car, a smell of thawing and new soil, of spring and new life. It was very exciting moment. I love spring.


I love textures and colours...how you can see a millions thing, and touch the softness of clothes, hair, the cool steel, and warm coffee cup. You can taste so much delicious and comforting stuff, but can't really define what taste is. And that is amazing.


It's odd how you don't miss people when they're around all the time, but the minute they leave, or are unattainable, you want them, need them, miss them so much, that you feel hollow and empty without them.



She lifts her skirt up to her knees, walks through the garden rows
With her bare feet, laughing
I never learned to count my blessings,
I choose instead to dwell in my disaster.
I walk on down the hill, through grass grown tall and brown
And still it's hard somehow to let go of my pain...
Will it always feel this way?
So empty, so estranged?...[Empty/Ray Lamontagne]



So I find myself listening to this music, contemplating the meaning of life, and wondering if I have a future. It then turns to thoughts of that my future may hold. What people will I meet, who will I become close to, when will things change?

I've already learned to some extent, to be calmer and more easy-going, accepting simply what life has to give. And yet, at times, my mind seems to run away with me, and I worry that I'll wake up and find my life has disappeared in time, with scattered remnants of history barely leaving a mark on the people around me.


On a side note, I believe I may be honing my social skills again, which is good news for the poor people who have to live with me. I've felt so distance and far from people around me, and now I'm attempting to make the effort to be friendlier and more open. I recall a woman telling me once that it costs us nothing to smile at people and be kind, and so I'm attempting to emulate her wise words, and make an effort to show people that I care, even if sometimes I don't.


There's something touching about a child reaching for his mother with his arms outstretched, and you know he has complete trust and faith in her, that she will hold him, care for him, feed and nurture him, and love him. The look on the mother's face as she clasps him into her arms and tenderly kisses his face speaks volumes of true love. She would die for her child, and you can see that plainly in her manner.

Love is a funny thing.
Sometimes I believe we hate it and ridicule it because we fear we will never experience fully, but the truth is- real, pure love stops us in our tracks and speaks to our souls. We stand in awe of the power of love, how it affects others around us, ebbing like the tide and touching the lives of people we come into contact with.


Here's to love, life, and hope.

[Clacking]Empty(Eyes)

The slatted blinds on the window here are clacking and knocking against each other in the warm breeze that is floating through the screen, and never have I been so appreciative of such a mundane sound.

The sunshine is incredibly bright and strong, and tonight will probably be one of those glorious spring sunsets that sets your heart on fire.

It's amazing to me how much the weather affects people. If it's rainy and dull out people are more likely to be cranky and uptight, but as it warms up and the promise of new life is on the air, people seem to unfurl like the leaves budding on the trees and daffodils springing up in gardens.

__

I love these lyrics by Ray Lamontagne:


I never learned to count my blessings
I choose instead to dwell in my disasters...
Will I always feel this way?
So empty...so estranged.


Words are so powerful.
They seem to fill the void of life and speak meaning into our existence. They are ultimately how we exist, how we communicate. The sweeter, the more reflective the words, the stronger the meaning, the deeper the thoughts, the more profound the contemplations.

It's not just the actual physical typing or writing of words that is powerful. It is also the spoken word, what we say to people, what we imply, how we communicate, and how we initially represent ourselves. The first thing that you say to a person will create a lasting impression with them.

___

Look through your eyes, but really look, don't just glance around.

Notice the myriad of colours and shading, the way the light hits the room and illuminates all that is around, the textures that our eyes can pick up, and the edges, shadows, beams. It is almost overwhelming.