Spring* ala Winter*

We've been tricked. Duped, lied to, and cheated on.
The promise of spring is fleeting and vain. Although we have been waiting with bated breaths for that glorious day in March when winter is over, it would appear that although it technically has arrived, physically it is as cold as a November night.

Perhaps it's just the notion of spring that has raised our hopes.
Spring means new life, a promise of a future, hope for good times ahead, and a respite from the cold blasts of snow, sleet, ice, and rain we have all been shivering through.


*

So here I am, driving in this car, doing my makeup and hair, moving from here to there independently, working constantly, barely finding time to meet up with people let alone have moments of quiet for myself, and I find that I barely know who I am anymore.

It feels as though I may have lost myself in this grand cause otherwise known as life.

And yet, in the still small moments, when you pause to hear a cardinal outside, notice the budding on the branches, and deeply inhale the scent of coming change, you start to feel yourself. You remember that who you are and what you believe in can never be taken away from you without your consent.


*

Hang onto this:

That you were made this way for a purpose, and that one day you will believe that with all your heart. A completeness and sense of assurance will fill you, and you'll know without a doubt that you've been given to this world, to your family, to the people who love you, for a very good reason.

When you find nights long and lonely, or feel as though depression may be crushing you with it's blackness and dark secrets, hang onto this:

That you are made in God's image, and there is nothing greater in the world than that. You were chosen, you were created from Intelligent Design, you were an intent in the heart of the Greatest Creator of all. Rest assured that God does not walk with us, only to leave us in the hard times.

White Out* Aging* Faith* Change*

It would appear we have not seen the last of winter, even though spring daylight savings begins this weekend.

The snow has been falling for twelve hours now, and shows no sign of letting up. It blankets the city and hides the dirty streets, hides the garbage that drifts down the roads and sidewalks, it covers the squalor and dirtiness. In a few hours the snow will turn to a brown slush and will no longer hide the city's unattractiveness, but emphasize it. It is then that I wish for country living, where one can look out into the fields and wilderness surrounding them and see untouched white spreading as far as the eye can witness.

However, despite snows wondrous ability to cover up the unsightly environment, I believe we are all longing for spring, for new birth, Easter, the smell of soil thawing, and leaves on trees unfurling to a new life and new growth. It's time for a seasonal change, and we all feel it, a growing desire for warmer weather and longer days.

***

Life does not grow easier as you age. As a child you are certain that being an adult will solve many of lifes' difficulties, and that with time things will be clearer and more transparent to you. It has become obvious to me that things do not become clearer, but rather as you age, you learn to patient, you learn to wait for things to occur, and with wisdom you attempt to feel out situations before rushing into them head-first with that youthful recklessness. I still often wonder why things are like so, whether they will ever change, and whether I will recognize that change when it does occur.

Time passes, you wait, and you begin to see things that you never noticed before in the heat of youth. You see wrinkles appearing, laugh lines, shaky hands, and slow gait. You recognize love in people's eyes, you see the power of touch, you marvel at relationships that grow and change. You become strongly aware of your own mortality, and often wonder what the point of life is. Strangely enough, death seems a comfort, for it the natural end of the road for all men.

When you reach the final chapter of life, you need to be sure of only two things...that you have no regrets, and that you know where you will be going, as you step into the surrounding shadows that turn to a glorious Light.

***

Stronger than anything in this world is faith.

It brings hope and joy to the heart, a light in the midst of all darkness.

Even though reason may attempt to stamp it out, the premise of faith is that it exists beyond reason.

No man can take away your faith, no one can lay claim to it, it is the spark in your heart, the belief that belongs to you alone.

You may lose everything else in life, you may be penniless, empty, cracked and broken...

But cracked and broken you overflow and pour out to those around you.

As faith flows through you and touches the people around you, believe that you are changing lives. Believe that your faith will never change, and that what you believe in defines who you are.

***

***

Rest assured that the things in life that you cannot change are static for a reason. They are immovable because they need to be that way. Although we may struggle and fight to bend things from how they are, perhaps the best thing we can do is stop the thrashing and general ineffectual struggling, and wait...Wait to see if the surrounding circumstances need change, or if perhaps, instead of attempting to change our milieu, we may in fact, need to change ourselves.