Friday, 6 June 2008

Sans Passion

Nothing is stimulating or interesting right now.
The only pressing truth is that this summer is possibly going to be the most ridiculously hot summer ever.
It is only the beginning on June, and it already feels like beach weather.

In an attempt to comb out my thoughts into a somewhat orderly fashion, I sit and wonder at the things of life, trying to fashion out some sort of thesis on the meaning of life.

Although we live to glorify God as the catechism put it so clearly, it seems as though sometimes that isn't enough.
Blasphemous? Maybe. It's not that I feel that we should forget God, put Him on the back burner, or relegate Him to our scheduled and routine prayer/devotional times.
But at times it would appear to me that God may be a tad narcissistic, which of course is impossible, because a holy and perfect God could not be narcissistic, as that is a negative character trait.

The point is (or lack thereof) that at times even though Christianity and our relationship with God is supposed to feel like enough, it quite simply doesn't.
How does one practically change, allowing God to become their main focus in life?
I'm sure that is has something to do with the renewing of ones mind.

The issue that I believe so many Christians face is that there is often no practical guide to acting on their beliefs.
Cliched statements like "pray through it" and "just believe" are often not enough to assist in making life changes and moving from the current state into something more godly and more focused.
So where is the aid for Christians who may feel as though they are failing, as though they just don't have that spark anymore?
Where is the practical assistance?
How can we help make changes?

At times, I wonder what draws people to Christianity, and what keeps them there.
It can be confusing and frustrating.
At times, we can only cling to the faintest faith we have, and hope fiercely that God will somehow show Himself to us in a clearer way.
At times, we can only wait for things to clear, for the storm to pass, for our eyes to be opened to the things that God is trying to show us, tell us.

For some reason that brings to mind this old gospel song that my vocal teacher taught us:
Have courage my soul, and let us journey on
Though the night is dark, and I am far from home
Thanks be to God! the morning light appears
The storm is passing over, the storm is passing over
The storm is passing over, hallelujah!

Perhaps the simple answers to the questions of life would be to cease the questionings (even if only temporarily) and to listen more intently. Sometimes it seems like the voices inside my head will drown out the truths that so desperately need to be heard. And so, at times, acceptance of lifes difficulties and frustrations is better, as opposed to thrashing about uselessly like a dying fish, accomplishing nothing, only tiring oneself.


scarecrowslady said...

I actually thought of God as being a hedonist or a narcissist before. It was back in Trinity. I think I asked Dad and he told me that God can't be those things because He's holy and perfect... etc etc...

But still... perhaps... when we talk about self-confidence and taking pride in oneself and one's work, there is a small link back to a sense of being whole and or lovely and praiseworthy...

I don't know. I don't know if I'm making much sense....

scarecrowslady said...

Oh yes. And as for having "sans passione" - well.... I think that there's a dry time in one's life where you wonder what the heck this is all supposed to mean.

And it's as if that evil Green Kirtle Lady were strumming her harp thing at you saying, "there isssss noooooo Assslaaaa~~~~nnnnn" lolz.

Or maybe not.

But I think that it is during times like these that people need to come together - not just for prayer and reading but also for fellowship in order to encourage each other in the faith. And also during these times to be aware of Satan trying to bring you down.

But you know, talking to non-christian friends at times like these is also refreshing because they are the ones who make you look at your faith anew and make you realize that what you have is worth fighting for (so to speak)...

The other day, Susu and I were talking about heaven with some coworkers. And the coworker was like "i don't want to go to heaven because perfection is boring" and Susu and I had to agree...... and then after a moment (where we were both going "uhhh") Susu spoke up and said that we were going to heaven to be closer to God and to get to know Him more - and that perfection was just an added bonus. And our coworker understood that (didn't agree, but understood)... so I think that reaching out to those around us may also help us come to a better realization of what we do have.

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