We all have these not so charming character flaws that we will undoubtedly carry with us as a part of our persona, for all of our lives.
They are as inherent to us as breathing.
We criticize without second thought, judging as spontaneously as we breathe.
We procrastinate, putting off things that need to be completed for another day, then fall behind in our tasks, often blaming others.
We jump to conclusions, act out of anger, are impatient, our selfishness consumes us through and through, and we lack virtues and play with our vices.
My personal hubris--lack of self discipline.
Even the smallest deviation from the routine I have set for myself end in disastrous results. It may be work related, with shirking responsibilities that require completion. But mostly, my lack of self discipline is obvious in my personal life.
Unless I stay vigilant with my sleeping and waking, unless I monitor everything I eat, and unless I force myself to go out and run no matter how tired I may feel, I fall behind on the wayside of binging and laziness.
The most frustrating thing about character flaws in that we will fight them for our entire lives. They never depart from us, and we are forever lost in this inner struggle that at times is easy, and at times the most difficult thing we face. We may win one battle of selfishness, greed, or gluttony, but the next day, week, month, year, we face the same problems. We fight to be kind, to be patient, to show sympathy, to be self disciplined, to be good.
It's depressing to think that while we carry at common grace that we display at times to our fellow men, at heart we have the ability to carry murder and jealousy as old as Cain and Abel.
Being aware of the flaws we have is a step in the right direction, but it is not enough. It's in the daily struggle, the daily fight to be a better person, that we find ourselves.
It is in falling down and admitting, "I can't get up without Your help...I won't get up without Your help...I won't go without You beside me...", yes it is in those moments that we can change. We might carry the ability to rude, hurtful, boastful, and proud, but we reject that ability and opt to live a changed person.
Of course it isn't easy to change our character, and we'll always fight with who we are, but it's the fighting that makes us who we are.