Happy Love Day!

Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river.  ~Malagasy Proverb

February 14: the day that many people dread and claim to be a "fake holiday".  In some ways I do still feel cynical, as the fact that we apparently need one day a year to tell the person we love that they matter to us rubs me the wrong way.  What is it about planning that one day to be obvious in our affections to each other that just seems so wrong???  Why aren't we taking every day in our relationships to say "I love you" with our actions or our words?

The reality of it is:  when I first started dating M and it became we were very serious about each other, I found swelling in my heart this new feeling, that I loved M so deeply and intensely, as if I am the only person who has ever loved someone with such strength.  While I felt that with my heart, I knew in my head that such a notion is ridiculous.  Each and every person in their relationships at some point convinces themselves that what they are experiencing in the greatest and highest point of their life.  Nothing else can compare.

Yet, perhaps what I should do is not discredit my relationship with M or the extent of my feelings, but continue to remain faithful in my love and fidelity.  I know in many ways I can be a heart breaker--not that I am desired by many men and have broken dozens of hearts, but rather that I often lack compassion for M and fail in the way I treat him, with insensitivity and love.

Of my many prayers for 2012, I pray that we will all find love amongst each other and that our love which begins as a small seed will grow and be nourished.  May God give us wisdom as we seeks answers to difficult situations, patience when things aren't going our way, compassion for the pain our lovers may have in their past or present...May God grant us love.

About Life.

In general.

There's so much stuff about it that is so confusing, and it seems that it may never resolve itself.

It would appear that violins and cellos almost always sound mournful, and grieve in their beauty.

Also, Valentine's Day for the single may be the most difficult holiday to celebrate alone. Mainly because society throws these ideas at us, that say being single during this time means there's something wrong with you, something that needs to be remedied.

And most importantly, there are people, there are situations that need remedying, which are far more important than any chocolate-covered holiday, but we lose sight of that, lose our perspective, are ultimately lost in ourselves, when we worry and obsess over things we feel we should have that we don't, people we feel we should be when we aren't.

It's actually ridiculous that we weight so much of ourselves around standards that other people have created, standards that are completely inaccurate and that can break us because we feel we will never reach them.

A young girl will start out her life feeling that she'll never be good-looking enough, because she can't meet the standards that are required from so many young girls at this time.

A young boy will believe that he is under-average, that he isn't a real man, when he sees pictures and forms a concept on what a real man looks like,

It's a general waste of time and energy trying to be someone that you aren't, trying to evolve into a fictional idea of what people should be like.

I realize of course, that I have completely rambled my way through this entire post.