Every night now, I almost dread going to sleep.
I used to sleep with a deepness that not even the sound of thunder could penetrate.
Lights would flicker, people would talk, music would play, and I would sleep soundly through it.
Yet now, what wakes me in the middle of the night to a profound sadness, is myself.
My dreams have become more vivid and real in the passing days, and each night I wake breathless with hope, only to be dragged back into reality.
It is as though my every desire, my deep wants, my yearnings rise to the surface every night I fall asleep, and I awake with the idea that they have come, or are coming to pass.
After a few minutes of waking, I realize nothing has changed, and life is the same.
To be reminded each night of what I have not achieved or feel I have lacked in is almost unbearable.