Monday, 21 April 2008

many different things.

Procrastination brings you nowhere in life. It may give temporary respite, but at the back of your mind, there nags the knowledge that something is undone, something is lacking, something needs/requires completion. I believe this is something you learn with maturity...that putting things off can only be done for so long, and you may as well just start and complete what is necessary.

There is nothing more relaxing and relieving to do, than drive at night with the windows rolled down, music playing, and wind blowing through your car. The darkness brings a calm and quiet to the city, and the roads are clear. It seems with the clearing of the roads, my mind clears, and clouds roll away. It puts life into perspective for me. I find that things which were so important and pressing disappear, my mind becoming light and free.

Some people told me that I was "intense", needed to "lighten up", and was "too much at times". I want to know why people say that, why people think that. They believe I get upset easily, they believe it's easy to rile me, when it isn't. Not many things that people do bother me. I feel hurt when people who say they are my friends discount how I feel, making me feel as though my opinion is incorrect/doesn't matter...but I don't get angry. I suppose I mostly feel disappointed.

Anyway, the point is...what causes people to think that I'm "intense"? Is it my absolute black-and-white, right-and-wrong, good-and-bad, thinking? Is it because I firmly hold fast to absolute truths? Is my emotional display too intense? Do I feel too strongly about things? Do I treat life too seriously? Should I lighten up?

Should I-attempt-to change my character because people feel that way? Is it possible to change who I am that much?

I don't believe it possible to change that characteristic about me. It's as inherent to my personality as breathing/beating hearts are to living things. No, I am who I am. I shouldn't have to make excuses or minimalize how I feel in order to make sure other people feel comfortable. If people don't like how I am, who I am, they need move on, leave. I can't be friends with people who can't accept me as a person.

That is all for now.

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