I currently have a very good-looking doctor leaning against a counter right in front of me at the nursing station. In fact, he's only three feet away, studiously writing notes about a newly admitted patient, casually dressed in greens and an open sweater, stethoscope hanging about his neck.
When you think about it though, people are just people, and skin is just skin, stretching out and covering our bones, muscles, tendons, veins, arteries, organs, fat, and so on. Just by chance, some people happen to have a more pleasant looking bone structure or facial features. We're still all people, regardless of what lot in life has fallen to us.
Sometimes I can think calmly and philosophically like so, accepting the fact that we all look different, and it's our differences that make us so unique and interesting. Who cares if we don't all look like the stereotypical plucked and made up Hollywood star? We are who we are, and the sooner we accept our bodies, the happier we will be.
However, on the other hand, at times--most of the time, to be honest--I struggle with accepting how I look, and believe that because I don't like the way I look, no one else ever can or ever will. It affects how I respond to people how around me, and how some of my relationships are carried out.
People are constantly lecturing me (and others, I am certain) that I must be comfortable in my own skin before anyone can find me attractive...but if I don't find myself attractive, how could I expect anyone else to?
It's a conundrum, but I am completely sure about this: no one can completely and essentially make you feel good about yourself. Relationships might temporarily fill us up and make us feel wanted or beautiful, but what happens if that other persons moves on for someone else? How devastating that is to our self worth and self esteem.
The trick is to find joy and happiness and contentment in who we are, and to accept that who we are is who we will be for the rest of our lives. I believe that sooner we accept that, the quicker we can live our lives to maximum potential, instead of caging ourselves in, or putting ourselves into boxes.
The hot doctor is long gone, perhaps home to his wife (noted platinum wedding ring on left hand), but I'm still here, being Marcia, and being her the best way I know how. I might not completely accept myself, and I might want to change in order to live healthier, but I can't change to please other people, and slowly I am beginning to accept that.