"I promise I will love you for the rest of your life..." Yesterday Matt knelt before me on the living room floor and held out a silver Celtic knot ring, tears in each of our eyes. No, we're not engaged or getting married any time soon, but there is something heart-stirring about declaring your love for someone in a piece of jewelry, no matter what size, shape, make or cost. He slid the ring onto my finger and we hugged, cried, laughed and held each other.
Sometimes thing are really tough. Sometimes you wonder why you're doing it. Sometimes you pray for strength to keep on keeping on because you don't know what else to do. Sometimes the days seem long and the minutes stretch out into hours. Sometimes you're laughing, smiling at each, at peace and in love. Relationships are probably the most up and down, in and out, head-over-heels thing we will ever do in our lives.
I won't be the first or the last person to say it, but...it's worth it. The fighting, the crying, the anger and tension...all these things are just temporary and eventually lead into laughing and happiness. You gotta take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad.
Licorice and I went out for a 3.5k run today. We stopped at a water fountain to cool off and I am currently enjoying the heat & sweat. Nothing feels more legit than sweating during a work out. I will also be posting some photos soon of a bike I bought yesterday! We went for almost a 10k ride last night and now my bottom is very sore today. Not looking forward to going in to work in a couple hours....fee fie foe fum on my desk job!
One of my friends suggested we visit a small hidden away beach with our dogs. She picked me up and we squished our dogs together in her back seat and drove to a piece of beach front I have never visited before. The two of them ran and played together, Tyson being more adventurous and swimming out deep into the water, Licorice playing in the shallows.
Great fun was had by all.
Happy (almost) New Year!
So much has changed since this time in 2010. I remember not having any firm New Year plans, then going over to my friend's house and realizing all over again that New Years means nothing unless you're spending it with someone or people that you love.
In 2010 I was lost and wandering, unhappy with the life I was leading and mistakes I kept making, but feeling powerless to stop myself or find another path to take. I found contentment in the strangest place, with someone I had no relationship with and who inexplicably fell fully into my life. We woke up the first morning together and the sun shone so brilliantly through my bedroom window.
If I could sum up 2011 in a few words it would be: new experiences. The entire year feels like a time of experiencing new things that I have never felt or imagined before. Instead of facing another year with trepidation, I look forward to what is to come, the journeys that are ahead, a bit frightening because they are unforeseeable, yet also exciting.
The animals make me laugh and help me remember that our lives are short and it truly is the little things that count. Their song and dance with each other, scratching and fighting, Licorice accidentally stepping on Mr. Cat, Mr. Cat fighting back with his claws and then discovering them sleeping together...it amuses me and makes me grateful for my wonderful little family.
My boyfriend reminds me that we come into love not necessarily deserving all the great things it has to offer, but yet being given so much by grace. Surely there is nothing greater than that: receiving what is ultimately a gift from each other. He is my namaste.
~Peace
As summer comes to a close this Friday (it's officially autumn on September 23), I ponder the past summer, all the experiences I had and memories I made, people I spent time with and people I missed...and I feel a rush of gratitude to God and the universe for all of it, including--
A fun few days of camping. The weather was wonderful, we didn't get eaten alive my mosquitoes, we picked up several items for ridiculously cheap at a Sally Ann, Licorice was fine without us, we learned that we can get along even when stuck together for several days on end and...sex in a tent. Need I say more?
Licorice's cute little quirks. As time passes, Mr. Greyhound becomes more and more outgoing and I can see his personality shining through. He carries about his stuffed animals like little babies, although tearing them apart and shaking them violently probably isn't great parenting. He enjoys his time at the dog park still, is becoming very good at recall (for those who don't know these terms--coming back to owner when called off-leash), his new dog food is agreeing with him and his coat looks great...all these things make me relieved as it's easy to get stuck with a dog that is difficult to manage. I'm already craving another grey to make a pair, but I'm scared that the next dog won't be a walk in the park as Licorice has been.
Cooking! I've just rediscovered my love for cooking, healthy and hearty meals such as stews, soups, fish...My personal fav was cornmeal breaded chicken breasts stuffed with jalapeno Havarti cheese. It's also great to save money by eating out less and I definitely feel healthier.
Farmer's Market! This is of course directly linked to cooking, but I've fallen in love with going to the farmer's market downtown and buying fresh produce! I love having veggies in the fridge that aren't frozen or canned! I probably use fresh onions every single day, especially with my favourite meal...omelets.
Omelets... I'm so grateful for omelets. They're tasty and easy to change up. I've made omelets with assorted veggies, meats, toppings...name it and we've made it! I still need to purchase an authentic omelet pan (making the flipping over easier) but I'm still loving on making omelets. Such delicious and wholesome foods :D
Matt. Well, when you get into a relationship, you inevitably tend to become a bit obsessed with the person you're with. I've been through that with Matt, am still somewhat going through it although I try not to talk about him a lot to people... so here it is in my blog which you are reading right now and can't STOP READING! Haha! I just love this man so much.
He's taught me so many things about myself and continues to grow and change with me. He's willing to sacrifice for the sake of our relationship, he cooks and cleans, he encourages me to pursue my dreams and faith... I know I've talked about him a lot on this blog (due to avoiding boring people with accolades of him) and I just can't stop! I'm so happy, so grateful, so blessed...that the first person I'm in a relationship with is someone like Matt.
Sex. Heh. Sex is awesome, especially with someone you love and who loves you back.
Bon Iver. I love him and I love his new CD "Bon Iver". Go buy it and support an artist. You will love it especially if you lean towards folk/indie music.
This is all for now! I could list many more things that I am grateful for... Instead I'll hold them inside and treasure each memory I have made this summer.
Be thankful, be blessed.
P.S. Meeting alone with my dad next week, he says just to catch up. Translation: wants to ask if I still believe in God, wants to know how I'm sinning, wants me to somehow justify my lifestyle choices to him. I refuse to participate in a debate about whether I'm a Christian or not, and I feel weird about not wanting to meet with him. Do I somehow feel guilty about my relationship choices? Well... perhaps a bit because it's so ingrained and I would like to avoid confrontation...
Ah well. Such is life in Christian circles.
Dear merciful heavens, I'm ready to plunge a knife into my beating heart as I am held captive at this "job" aka HELL.
Also, I think I possibly aspirated a small piece of a pepperoni stick, which will hopefully come out after a few rounds of hacking and coughing. My eyes watered up like crazy when I got the piece jammed in my throat, although I don't know if I inhaled it or if it scraped it's way down my esophagus to my stomach. I hope, I pray the latter. If this blog isn't update any time soon, that is the reason. I am dead. Either from the plunged knife or the piece of pepperoni.
In the news today:
Jack Layton, leader of the NDP party died after a long struggle with cancer. Even though he vowed to be back in Parliament this coming September, any person involved in the medical field could see the truth of his condition in his gaunt and jaundiced appearance. He was a stirring speaker and I wish he had fronted the Conservative party, but there you have it. Life is always beginning and ending.
And in other news:
My boyfriend lost Licorice's purple leash. It was a nice light-weight nylon purple one that I had found during my move to this new apartment. R.I.P. Mr. Leash. You will be missed.
That's all for now:)
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